can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I intend to get homeless drunk
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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