Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
