It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
