I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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