You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
