another moral hangover. fuck.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
