how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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