he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize