return my video game
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
