she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize