Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
