He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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