so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
