Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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