real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
