is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
smell my finger.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
