I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
