one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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