im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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