He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i dont even know how to be here
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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