Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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