Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
