How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
