Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
