i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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