My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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