Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
