Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
