she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
