You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She bit a glass in half.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
