Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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