I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
