Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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