You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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