Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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