this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
