I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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