Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize