I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Randomize