sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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