i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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