i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
