We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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