bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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