Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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