Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
