is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
