non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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