Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize