Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
