my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
