That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
