You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
