i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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