Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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