If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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