so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
