quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
